Mad, Mad Words: The Woman in the Orange Stilettos Part III

     For part I of this story, see here.  For part II, see here.  We wrote this tale using a Mad Libs word list.  For more details about how we came up with our story, see our original Mad, Mad Words post.  I've included our list below.  Feel free to try writing a story of your own using them and let us know what you come up with, either by posting in the comments below or by emailing me at hathaway.amber@gmail.com.

Word list:

*Sweltering

*Acrid

*Zucchini

*Jake

*Neon yellow

*Maddie

*Slipper

*Mirror

*Forks

*Stomach

*Bookshelf

*Gall bladder

*Flashlight

*Pestering

*Willowy

*Dice

*Shallow

*Sweater

*Blocks

*Elongated

*Pennies

     Startled by the sound, she drew in a sharp breath of the sweltering air. An acrid smell reached her nostrils.  She turned around and saw what looked like the remnants of a large zucchini that had exploded. 

     "Jake, hurry up," she thought to herself as she watched the man who had been standing on the stepstool amble across the grass.  She glanced back to the man who was following her and noticed a neon yellow ooze dripping from his hand.

     "So we meet at last, Maddie," he said as he extended his slimy hands toward her. 

     In one of his hands, he was holding what appeared to be a fuzzy slipper.  He reached inside the slipper-like object and pulled out a small compact mirror, turning it toward her.  Maddie ducked out of the way and as she did so, she saw a couple of forks, which she scooped off the ground.  She stabbed them into her opponent's stomach.  The strange man was caught off guard by her actions and as he fell to his knees he uttered the word, "bookshelf."

     She kicked him in the gall bladder.  He then removed a flashlight-shaped object from the pouch.  "Enough with your pestering," he said as he aimed it at her.

     Her willowy frame leapt out of the way as a beam of light narrowly missed her.  Two cubes the size of dice tumbled from his apparatus.  They fell into a nearby shallow storm grate.  He shot the beam at her again and this time it grazed the sleeve of her sweater.  Again, two new blocks clattered to the ground.  She noticed an elongated rod lying just outside of her arms' reach, too far for her to reach in the short amount of time she would have.  With a swift motion, she reached into her pocket and flung several objects shaped like pennies toward him . . .

Mad, Mad Words: The Ritual Part I

     Here's another story we wrote using a Mad Libs word list.  For more details about how we came up with our story, see our original Mad, Mad Words post.  I've included our list below.  Feel free to try writing a story of your own using them and let us know what you come up with, either by posting in the comments below or by emailing me at hathaway.amber@gmail.com.

Word list:
*Turnips
*Slap
*Hydrogen peroxide
*Bubbly
*Spilling
*Roque mallet
*Hotels
*Topiary
*Larynx
*Shields
*Suffocating
*Thermometers
*Ice Cube
*Chalk
*Staircase

     He finally arrived at his location, the enormous turnips towering over him like skyscrapers.  He slapped one of the turnips with his briefcase.  The briefcase began to hiss like hydrogen peroxide applied to a fresh wound.  A purple, bubbly liquid oozed out of it.  The liquid spilled over the ground, slowly consuming the earth it touched.

     The man reached into the bushes and pulled out a roque mallet.  The many hotels that he visited on his journey provided him ample supplies for the ritual which he was about to perform.  He glanced back at the topiary which had concealed his mallet.  He began to hum, what seemed like an impossibly loud tone resonating from his larynx.  He stepped back behind the shaped hedges, using them as shields.  A wave of panic washed over the strange man, cutting off his voice, suffocating him.  He had forgotten the thermometers.

     Large ice cubes began to form on the turnips.  He pulled the piece of chalk from the interior pocket of his suit and drew a ring on the pavement, enclosing himself inside it.  A loud rumbling sound penetrated his ears and the pavement shook as a staircase formed underneath his feet . . .

Mad, Mad Words: The Woman in the Orange Stilettos Part II

     For part I of this story, see here.  We wrote this tale using a Mad Libs word list.  For more details about how we came up with our story, see our original Mad, Mad Words post.  I've included our list below.  Feel free to try writing a story of your own using them and let us know what you come up with, either by posting in the comments below or by emailing me at hathaway.amber@gmail.com.

Word list:

*Sequined

*Sweater

*Dresser

*Slimy

*Eye

*Stepstool

*Table

*Hot

*Glaciers

*Messily

*Balloon

     She tossed aside her orange sequined heels and then stood, trying to act casual.  The sweater she picked out earlier felt far too heavy now and intensified her perspiration.  She could not wait to get back to her dresser so she could change, but first she had business to attend to.

     The man drew nearer to her with each moment that passed, a slimy smile plastered to his face.  Out of the corner of her eye she saw the building, its front face trimmed with ivy, sticking out like a sore thumb against the row of skyscrapers and other modern buildings.  She was hoping the figure atop the stepstool in front of said building would take note of her.  He looked her way and hopped down, moving around the table toward her, but with his eyes low to the ground and his trajectory at a slight diagonal with respect to hers.

     She felt her face grow hot as she watched him.  He had come to her rescue during the glacier incident as well and she was sick of looking weak and helpless around him.  She had performed the mission messily, and as a result the glacier had gone off course.  A sound like a balloon popping pulled her out of her recollection . . .

Invasion of the Zombie Circus Performers Part V

     For the previous parts of the story, see here, here, here, and here.

     Alison decided to try her neighbors across the street.  She darted past the remaining zombies to the Johnsons' house.  She approached the door and knocked, waiting for a reply, since Mr. Johnson hated rude people.  No answer.  She tried the door.  It was unlocked.  She let herself inside.  Perhaps Mr. Johnson would understand, given the circumstances.  She ran inside and locked the door behind her.  As she turned around she was faced with a very angry looking Mr. Johnson.

     "What are you doing here, you damn nosy kid?  What are you doing in my house!" Mr. Johnson exclaimed.

     "I'm sorry Mr. Johnson.  I tried knocking, but no one answered," Alison explained.  "I figured that since there were zombie circus performers outside who want to eat me you might understand."

     "You goddamned kids got no respect these days.  When I was your age, we had manners or we'd get our butts spanked until they were redder than old Saint Nick's cheeks."

     "I'm really sorry, Mr. Johnson, but I would have been eaten alive if I'd stayed out there.  Can I please stay here, just long enough for me to figure out what to do about the zombies?"

     "Zombies or no zombies, we knew respect as kids, or otherwise they would teach us respect.  I remember back in the zombie invasion of '66, now that was a zombie invasion.  You couldn't go five feet without being bit by a zombie and we had respect and still waited for the door to be answered instead of barging in unannounced."

     "Okay Mr. Johnson, I understand, and next time there's a zombie invasion I'll wait for you to answer the door.  But for now, I'm already inside, so you might as well just let me stay."

     Mr. Johnson, mumbling under his breath, walked into the kitchen.  "While you're here I may as well offer you something to drink.  I would hate to be rude."

     Alison glanced out the window and gasped.  Dozens of zombies filled the Johnsons' front yard.

Invasion of the Zombie Circus Performers Part IV

     For the first three parts of this story, see here, here, and here.

     They first came by ones, then by twos and before she knew it they filled the room.  Alison knew that her stuffed animals would not be able to take on all of the zombie acrobats.  She needed something more powerful.  She remembered that there was a fire escape outside her window.  If she could make it outside, she could go for help.  While her stuffed animals fought bravely in her defense, she made her way out the window.  Fortunately these zombie acrobats were not as limber as living acrobats, and thus had some trouble making it out the window. 

     Alison made her way to the roof.  As she looked down below she saw masses of zombie circus performers in the streets.  She weighed her options.  There were far fewer zombie circus performers in her backyard.  If she climbed down the tree beside her house and ran for it, maybe she could make it to Jennifer Thompson's house, which was right next door.

     She quickly located the emergency weapon stash in the secret roof vault and prepared to make her journey.  She grabbed a semiautomatic and several other guns and then proceeded to climb down the tree.  As she climbed down the tree one of the branches broke from her weight.  She sat up quickly, but already the zombie circus performers had spotted her and were heading toward her.

     She threw a grenade into the mass of zombies which had formed and was making its way toward her.  Body parts went flying in all directions as the grenade went off.  Blood and flesh splattered everywhere, including all over Alison, all over the house, all over the Thompsons' house.  Mr. Thompson would not be pleased.  Just then zombie Mr. Thompson appeared at his door flailing his arms wildly.  Maybe the Thompsons' wasn't the best place to go.  The remaining zombies started lumbering toward her.  She needed to a new plan and she needed it now.

Invasion of the Zombie Circus Performers Part III

     For part I of this story see here and for part II see here,

     Carrying its Bible in one hand and a cross in the other, the Jehovah's Witness stared wildly, looking straight into Alison's soul. She quickly looked away. The clown on stilts hurriedly backed away from Alison's window, and the other invading circus creatures followed suit. Except for the dead mime, which mysteriously began to float upwards. Teddy shot some fireballs at it, but it continued to rise. Rise like a piece of dough in a slightly warmed place.

     Alison hurried over to her CD player and hit the play button. CDs began to shoot at the Jehovah's Witness at incredible speeds. However, the Jehovah's Witness managed to dodge every one and then returned fire with his cross gun, destroying Alison's CD player in one hit.

     Alison knew what she had to do. She began singing Lady Gaga's "Lovegame" at the top of her lungs. The Jehovah's Witness dropped his bible and cross gun and covered his ears. Teddy made his move. He shot fireballs at the Jehovah's Witness, setting him on fire. But it was too late; the mime had become fully reanimated.

     Alison grabbed her eye shadow off her dresser and lunged at the mime, smearing purple across his face. The mime laughed at her. "Only sparkly purple eye shadow can stop me!"

     Fortunately Alison happened to have some sparkly purple eye shadow on hand. She attacked the mime, yet it had been a clever ruse; the mime grew even more powerful. She fumbled across her dresser and threw the first item she grabbed at the mime, her blush. The mime shrieked in agony and then burst into flames. But even though they had gotten rid of the mime, the Jehovah's Witness, and two clowns, Alison and her stuffed animals were not yet out of harm's way because the zombie acrobats had arrived.

Invasion of the Zombie Circus Performers Part II

     For part I of this story, click here.

     Alison hurried upstairs and locked herself in her bedroom. As she turned around, she realized her mistake. She had forgotten to grab the hydrochloric acid. Oh well, she would have to make do with what she had. That being her good looks and charm, of course.

     She heard footsteps on the staircase. Looking under the door, she managed to catch a glimpse of a mime making its way up the stairs. She dashed over to her dresser and started looking for what she hoped would be there. Just as she hoped, she found her stuffed teddy bear. As soon as she had grabbed Teddy, she heard something tapping on the window. It was a clown on stilts.

     Alison rounded up her stuffed animals and then recited the words. Suddenly the stuffed animals sprang to life. Her stuffed Teddy (Tactical Electronic Doomsday Device Yikes) hovered above the floor glowing blue above the floor.

     At that instant, the clown on stilts broke through Alison's window. The mime began pounding on her door. Alison looked over at Teddy. He was now 7 feet tall and had long, sharp claws and teeth, and could shoot fireballs from his eyes. Teddy glared at the clown and shot fireballs at him. The clown deflected the fireball, causing it to blow up Alison's formerly locked door. The clown howled in pain, since one of Alison's other stuffed animals had burned him with its lasers. The now flaming mime ran into the room, catching several of Alison's stuffed animals on fire. The mime fell to the ground and died, but Alison noticed something far more frightening making its way up the stairs toward her bedroom.

Invasion of the Zombie Circus Performers Part I

     This is the first story Brian and I worked on together, which we started about 4 1/2 years ago, when we first began dating.  Unlike the Mad Libs stories, we did not have a specific word list we used.  Rather, we simply took turns writing sentences.  Hope you enjoy!

‎     It was a dark and stormy afternoon and Alison was home alone watching TV when suddenly there was a noise: the sound of a creaking stair coming from the basement. At first she tried to ignore it, but then she heard it again; something was coming up the basement stairs.

     Bravely Alison went to investigate the noise. She stopped in the kitchen to grab a carver's knife, then proceeded to the basement door. Feeling thirsty, she decided to get a drink of water first. She turned on the faucet. Unfortunately the sound of the faucet drowned out the soft squeak of the basement door as it opened.

     Her glass slowly filled with what looked like rusty water as she skylarked about the room, hardly taking notice of her surroundings. She heard a thud and spun around. A clown stood smiling menacingly at her. The clown advanced toward her. She backed up against the counter, feeling for the carver's knife. Instead her fingers met with the glass of water.

     She picked up the glass of water and splashed the contents on the clown. The rust colored water began to spit and sputter as it ate away the clown's face. The clown lunged at her, grabbing her arm. But by now Alison had found the knife. She plunged the knife into the clown's chest. That was when she noticed it: a circus performer standing outside her window, watching her kill the clown. She closed the curtains, but knew it was too late. The invasion of the zombie circus had begun.

Mad, Mad Words: Blue Slime Part I

     Here's another story we wrote using a Mad Libs word list.  For more details about how we came up with our story, see our original Mad, Mad Words post.  I've included our list below.  Feel free to try writing a story of your own using them and let us know what you come up with, either by posting in the comments below or by emailing me at hathaway.amber@gmail.com.

Word list:
*Basket
*Eerily
*Coagulate
*Corset
*Big toe
*Repugnant
*Cello
*Anchors
*Lip
*Ice cubes
*Thumb
*Sledgehammer
*Ice pick
*Flailing
*Haughty
*Prepubescent
*Slather

     Along the side of the long, dusty road laid an abandoned wicker basket.  An owl hooted eerily from the neighboring woods.  As the temperature dropped, a strange blue substance began to coagulate around the basket.
     The woman was wearing a corset, short shorts, and spike heels as she trudged down the road.  She walked with a slight limp, for her big toe sported a large blister from her long journey.  She glanced over at the basket, the repugnant blue substance hardening around it.  As she stared at it, captivated, she thought she heard the soft sound of a cello playing in the distance.  She studied the miniature anchors painted on the basket's surface.  Her lip began to involuntarily twitch as she tried in vain to look away from the basket.  It suddenly felt very cold outside, like she was standing in a pit of ice cubes.  A sharp pain formed in her thumb and began to spread to the rest of her hand.  It felt as though someone had hit her with a sledgehammer.
     She caught the sound of something scraping the ground and out of the corner of her eye she glimpsed what appeared to be a figure dragging an ice pick.  She tried to run, but tripped, flailing her arms in an attempt to keep from falling.  A voice with a haughty tone penetrated the silence.  Regaining her balance, she turned around to see the man with the ice pick, almost prepubescent in appearance save the scraggle adorning his chin and cheeks.  He began to slather the ice pick with the same blue substance which surrounded the basket . . .

Mad, Mad Words: The Woman in the Orange Stilettos Part I

     Here's another story we wrote using a Mad Libs word list.  For more details about how we came up with our story, see our original Mad, Mad Words post.  I've included our list below.  Feel free to try writing a story of your own using them and let us know what you come up with, either by posting in the comments below or by emailing me at hathaway.amber@gmail.com.

Word list:
*Orange
*Maple tree
*Tiara
*Hurriedly
*Hip
*Knees
*Hovercraft
*Mailbox
*Complicated
*Salty
*Heel
*Dust bunny
*Pencil
*Ghastly
*Desk

     The woman in the orange stilettos walked by.  A maple tree's leaves rustled as the wind glided between its branches.  The woman adjusted the silver tiara resting atop her head.  Out of the corner of her eye she noticed a dark figure moving toward her and she hurriedly changed course, racing into the park.  She did not notice the bench and rammed her hip into it.  She let out a yelp as she tripped and fell to her knees.
     She glanced over her shoulder to see a hovercraft zooming past the shadow shrouded man.  He was now passing by the mailbox she herself had only moments ago used to send off the package.  It had not been a complicated mission and yet she had managed to mess it up.
     A salty drop of sweat dripped into her eye as it cascaded off her forehead.  She tried to stand, but the heel of one of her shoes snapped off.  She grabbed the heel and stuffed it into her purse, which was inhabited by a lone dust bunny.  The pencil she stored in it must have fallen out earlier.  She considered the ghastly deed she would have to perform, which would now be considerably more difficult without such a trusty weapon.  She had to get back to her desk as soon as possible to pick up another one . . .

Mad, Mad Words: The Sparkly Barnacle's Journey Part I

     Here's another story we wrote using a Mad Libs word list.  For more details about how we came up with our story, see our original Mad, Mad Words post.  I've included our list below.  Feel free to try writing a story of your own using them and let us know what you come up with, either by posting in the comments below or by emailing me at hathaway.amber@gmail.com.

Word list:
*Sparkly
*Soda
*Cats
*Nine
*Icy
*Swims
*Green
*Owl
*Ottoman
*Cupcake
*Gopher
*Jumps
*Tree
*Pretty
*Book
*Calculators
*Grim
*Toaster

     There once was a sparkly barnacle.  It lived on the side of a soda bottle.  The soda bottle had once been owned by an eccentric old man who had been the caretaker of famous cats.  He had nine such cats, in fact.  However, there was no old man nor were there cats in the icy depths of the ocean.
     As the barnacle's memory of the old man faded, it watched as an eel swam past it.  As the eel passed, the barnacle saw a flash of green light.  The bottle was lifted into the air by an owl wearing scuba diving gear.
     After they reached the surface, the owl and barnacle were hoisted aboard a ship and the owl placed the bottle on an ottoman.  The owl took off her scuba mask and started munching on a cupcake from the tray beside the ottoman.  A gopher dressed in fanciful captain's attire approached the owl.  Feeling a presence behind her, the owl jumped.  She jumped so high that she landed on the tree branch that was the mast of the ship.
     "My, what a pretty view I have from here," she said as she regained her composure.
     The gopher began to flip through pages of a book, searching for something.  He picked up a calculator from the mound of calculators neighboring the ottoman.  As he punched numbers into the calculator, a grim expression crossed his face.  "This thing you found in the ocean is too small to be the toaster of prosperity," he said.

To be continued . . .

Mad, Mad Words: The Blue Raccoon's Adventure by the River

     Brian and I both enjoy Mad Libs and as we were playing the game the other day, Brian suggested writing a story using the words that we fill in for the Mad Libs, including at least one of the words per sentence.  I thought it was a neat idea and so we gave it a try.  This is what we ended up with.  I'm including our word list as well.  If you feel inclined to try writing a story using these words yourself, I'd love to see what you come up with.  Post your stories in the comments below or email them to me at hathaway.amber@gmail.com

Word list:
*Blue
*Mirror
*Cod fish
*Ugly
*Crimson
*Killing
*Mauling
*Fluffy
*Silly
*Hatchet
*Bananas
*Spleens
*Naughty
*Chevy S-10
*Apples
*Pickles
*Crayfish
*Worms
*Crossly
*Hat

     Once there was a blue raccoon who loved to look into a lake that had a mirror-like reflection.  One day while staring into the lake the raccoon saw a cod fish.  The cod fish looked up at the raccoon and said, "By golly, you're ugly!"
     The raccoon pointed a crimson claw at the cod fish and said, "That's not a nice thing to say.  You would probably look unkempt too if you had been out killing all day long."
     The raccoon was fibbing, for the only thing she had been mauling was a red paintball.  The raccoon, like a fluffy streak, dove into the water.  She proceeded to make silly faces at the cod fish.  The cod fish, in a moment of terror, pulled out a hatchet.  The raccoon reached into the water for something to defend herself with and pulled out a bunch of bananas.  The bananas reeked like spleens that had been sitting out in the sun for ten days.
     "Naughty codfish," said the raccoon, "Did you leave this perfectly good food in the river?"
     As the cod fish began to answer the raccoon, a Chevy S-10 drove by, muffling the cod fish's reply.  Several apples fell out of the back of the truck.  Then a jar of pickles floated by.  A crayfish swam to the surface after the pickles, shouting, "Hey, come back here, my lunch!"
     The cod fish yelled after the crayfish, "Hey Jim, you got those worms you promised me yet?"
     The crayfish glared at the cod fish and said crossly, "Can't you see that I'm busy?"
     The raccoon thought to herself, "This is getting weird" as she grabbed her hat and slowly backed away.